Tole je pa kr smeh

[uklopko]

uuu ne se j..... ker lesoving

[qwerty]

de?ki vam povem kaj je to? uh ?e sam nwm wannabe neki.. sam nwm kaj

[jures]

Najnovej?i:

 

stacionarni Radar na logatcu baje selijo na staro cesto v Logatec. Zaradi del na cesti radar ne pokriva niti osnovnih stro?kov vzdrzevanja...

[Boss]

haha... a to resno? ?e so to res izjavili potem so sami seb v skledo plunli, ker od nekdaj govorijo, da so radarji le zaradve?je varnosti, o?itno pa so res le in samo kot zbiralci denarja.

[David]

Najnovej?i:

 

stacionarni Radar na logatcu baje selijo na staro cesto v Logatec. Zaradi del na cesti radar ne pokriva niti osnovnih stro?kov vzdrzevanja...

 

 

Kaj to pomeni da je radar neglede na dela na cesti limitiran na hitrost 130km/h???

[jures]

Kaj to pomeni da je radar neglede na dela na cesti limitiran na hitrost 130km/h???

 

To je tema 'tole je pa kr smeh'.....

[qwerty]

http://www.mojvideo.com/video-macka-in-osv...eeba727724a661e

 

za crknat

[Jest]

Kabriolet trosil evre po avtocesti

 

Berlin, 14.05.2009, 11:56 | B.T.

Nek Nemec je med testno vo?njo s kabrioletom izgubil 23 tiso? evrov, ki so se raztresli po avtocesti. Cesto so zaprli, stekla pa je policijska iskalna akcija.

 

http://24ur.com/ekskluziv/zanimivosti/kabr...-avtocesti.html

 

 

 

Pa ?e http://www.24sata.hr/news/clanak/otislo-u-...ge_id=main_page

 

[jures]

Se sre?ajo trije pedri v pogrebnem zavodu, ker so jim

umrli partnerji vsi so naro?ili upepelitev, ampak prvi pravi, da ne

rabi ?are, ker bo pepel

svojega partnerja raztresel nad morjem, ker je tako rad

lovil ribe

drugi pravi, da bo svojega raztresel po travniku, kjer

sta se vedno sprehajala

tretji pa pravi:

Jaz bom pa pepel vkuhal v pikanten gola?, da mi ?e

zadnji? razturi rit.

[jures]

Dosao Mujo s Fatom i sinom Mujicom na kupanje na more.

Prodje neko vrijeme, a Muji se digne i pita Fatu da je kresne,

ali Fata nece dok je mali u blizini i Mujo posalje Mujicu

da skuplja skoljke po obali.

 

Poslije pola sata vraca se Mujica s punom vrecom skoljki,

a Mujo jos uvijek na Fati pa upita mali Muju sta to radi.

 

Na to Mujo odgovori: Pa znas da ti mama ne zna plivati

pa je moram napumpati prije nego udje u vodu", na sto Mujica odgovori:

"Ne brini se za to, to je komsija Haso vec napravio jutros,

jos je presao jezikom preko ventila da vidi da li pusta zrak!"

 

1.Pomagajte mi prosim, na penisu pod glavico imam neki belega.

V podpisu:SOKOL

Odgovor: "SOKOLE OPERI GA!!

2.Gleedal sem porni? ali moram videokaseto zavrtet na za?etek preden ga vrnem v videoteko?

3.?e ga dobim v rito, ali sem ?e devica??

4. Spim z dvemi tipi. Ali lahko ta prvi ugotovi da sem spala z drugim med tem ko sexava?

5. Je res da z masturbacijo postanemo neplodni??

6.Samozadovoljevala sem se s svin?nikom. Porinila sem ga malo premo?no in za?ela krvaveti. Ali je to moj prvi sex???

7.Redno sexam s tipom brez kondoma. Opazila sem da mi rastejo prsa, trebuh mi je ve?ji in menstruacija mi zamuja 4 mesece. Ali sem nose?a?

8.Imam punco ampak v?asih ga vle?em prijatelju. Ali sem homosexualec?

9.Opazila sem, da je na reklamah za vlo?ke vedno neka modra teko?ina.

Moja je rde?a. Ali sem normalna?

10.Sem mlada punca in moj zobozdravnik mi je rekel, da mi zobe lahko pobelijo zaradi sperme. Ali je to res?

 

Pride stara naglu?na babica k doktorju in re?e:

"Doktor, ?e bi vi vedeli kako mene boli tu, pa tam, pa ovo pa ono..."

Ugotovi doktor, da babici prav zaprav ni? ni, samo EM?O je visok pa ji priporo?a:

"Oma, vam manjka kura C-VITAMINA"

Pride babica domov, pa jo deda vpra?a: " Kaj pravi dohtar, ?ena?"

Oma pa: Kaj pravi ? "To kar ?e sama dobro vem, da potrebujem,

KURAC in LITER VINA !"

 

Ona: "Dober dan, kaj lahko storim za vas?"

On: "En posrani ra?un mi odprite."

Ona: "Prosim? Verjetno vas nisem prav razumela."

On: "Kaj je tu za razumet? V tej posrani banki bi rad odprl en kur?ev ra?un!"

Ona: "Oprostite, ampak v takem tonu res ne morete govoriti z mano!"

On: "Poslu?aj krava, ?e bom hotel s tabo govorit, ti bom povedal. Zdaj bi rad samo odprl en klin?ev ra?un!"

Ona: "Mislim, da bom poklicala direktorja banke."

Ona stopi do direktorja banke, z njim nekaj ?asa vneto razpravlja in oba se nato vrneta do stranke.

Direktor: "Oprostite, obstaja mogo?e kak?en problem?"

On: "Ja, obstaja en prekleti problem. Na lotu sem zadel 15 miljonov eurov in bi rad v tej klin?evi banki odprl en usrani ra?un!"

Direktor: ".....in ta kuzla s premalimi jo?ki vam dela probleme?!"

 

Kaj je treba storiti, ko umre ?ef?

Obrniti ga na trebuh za dva dni, da lahko vsi iz riti prilezejo.

 

V letalu se vozijo Ku?an, Bush in Binladen. Pa jih vpra?a stevardesa, kaj bodo pili. Bush in Ku?an si naro?ita vodko, Binladen pa re?e: "Jaz ne bom ni?, ker bom potem vozil!"

 

Umro Mujo i do?ao kod Boga. Vidje ondje hrpu satova te ga upita za ?ta je toliko satova?

Bog: Ti satovi govore koliko će netko ?ivjeti. Kad je netko dobar onda ja pomaknem sat unazad.

Mujo: Ima li tu sat od mog ?efa?

Bog: Ima.

Mujo: Mogu li ga malo pomaknuti unazad?

Bog: ?to si ti dobar Mujo...Hajde pa ga pomakni.

Okreće Mujo ko blesav sat unazad, dok ga Bog ne opomene da će ?efa vratiti u djetinjstvo ako tako nastavi.

Mujo: Ma kakvo djetinstvo, oću da ga ?aljem u pi?ku materinu!!

[jures]

Gorenjska vinjeta

[qwerty]

ne ve? al bi se smeju al joku... glede na to da so ble vse ostale "postaje" za tankat fraj gre na uno...

 

 

pik?r made by me... danes ko grem tankat ob pravem ?asu na pravem mestu tankal

[Marko_mx-3]

ja in kaj je narobe

[qwerty]

ja in kaj je narobe

 

da gre pr prazni pumpi na uno ko mre ?lavf okol avta napelat...

[KAALman]

ne ve? al bi se smeju al joku... glede na to da so ble vse ostale "postaje" za tankat fraj gre na uno...

 

 

pik?r made by me... danes ko grem tankat ob pravem ?asu na pravem mestu tankal

 

hepan... ded je pa? hotu na soncu stat

[Boss]

A lahko tokrat mal policaja zagovarjam. Kaj pa ?e ma doma japonski al pa korejski avto pa je odprtina na levi strani?

 

Glede na to, da imam slu?bene avte evropske, doma imamo pa ?e nekaj ?asa samo japonce in korejce se mi konstantno dogaja, da se v tistem trenutku ne morem spomnit na katero stran moram zapelat z dolo?enim avtom.

 

Itak pa to ni nek velik problem sej je ror dovolj dolg sam parkirat je treba tako, da ga ne vle?e?, ?ez streho al pa prtlja?nik pa gre.

 

V glavnem... men tale situacija sploh ni niti malo sme?na, ker se tud men dogaja.

[qwerty]

hah men je pa blo ker nisi celga scenarija videl... parkira zraven... gre vn... napelje pa ugotovi aha prekratko... vsede v avto pa mal naprej pa nazaj pa spet ror vle?e pa mu rata... namest da bi se na sosednjo stran zapelju bumbar...

 

Gorenjska vinjeta

 

tta vinjeta mi li?i na karikaturo fredy millerja kot pa na vinjeto pa nasmejan avto

[LabiGT]

hah men je pa blo ker nisi celga scenarija videl... parkira zraven... gre vn... napelje pa ugotovi aha prekratko... vsede v avto pa mal naprej pa nazaj pa spet ror vle?e pa mu rata... namest da bi se na sosednjo stran zapelju bumbar...

 

 

jaz tud ne stekam kaj te tok moti tole??

jaz grem pac na tisto pumpo katera je prazna, sploh ne razsmiljam o tem na kateri strani je luknja (glavno, da ga das noter )

[Z M A J]

Poanta tega postanka je v tem, da ?e ma? cev prekratko, mora? dobr razmislit kaj ti je storiti (?e sploh se da kaj)!

[Alex]

jaz tud ne stekam kaj te tok moti tole??

jaz grem pac na tisto pumpo katera je prazna, sploh ne razsmiljam o tem na kateri strani je luknja (glavno, da ga das noter )

 

E ja.

[jures]

E ja.

 

 

tud ce je prekratek.....

[Z M A J]

?e je mogo?e kdo sli?al najnovej?o Cimetovo izjavo, jz sm skor dol padu; neki v smislu, da so jih v Lendavi zmerjal s Cigani, ampak da oni so iz LJ in da kdo je zdej Cign?

[Marko_mx-3]

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are

 

things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and

now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm

while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

 

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

 

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

 

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

 

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

 

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

 

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

 

WITNESS: Yes.

 

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

 

WITNESS: Getting laid.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

 

WITNESS: Yes.

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

 

WITNESS: None.

 

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

 

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a

new attorney?

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

 

WITNESS: By death.

 

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

 

 

 

WITNESS: Take a guess.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

 

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

 

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

 

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

 

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on

dead people?

 

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go

to? WITNESS: Oral.

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

 

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

 

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

 

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

 

 

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

 

 

 

................................................

 

 

 

And the best for last:

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for

a pulse?

 

WITNESS: No.

 

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

 

WITNESS: No.

 

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

 

WITNESS: No.

 

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

 

began the autopsy?

 

WITNESS: No.

 

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

 

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

 

 

 

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

 

nevertheless?

 

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

[Z M A J]

Poglejte spodaj, 71. po velikosti od HR otokov, kako se imenuje!

 

http://sl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seznam_otokov_Hrva%C5%A1ke

[Ninja]

Hehe, zraven je pa Kurba mala

 

?e mal zraven je pa mali oto?ić Babina guzica. In jest sem stala na njej, lepo prosim

Je pa to vse v sklopu Kornatov.

 

Aja pa ?e rt z najbolj zanimivim imenom: Rt Sko?i djevojka

 

Sem pre?tudirala celo nauti?ko karto, ja